Therapy Session 2: Anger is an Iceberg
After meeting with Dr. Jessica for the second time I actually felt super great. We got down to the bottom line of my anger which has to do a lot with my anxiety, but instead of being angry that I'm anxious the anger comes from unidentified stress. So, we identified it.
I took on responsibility very young just like any sibling would and imagine the stress being 13 and able to put your siblings on punishment. The only part that sucks is as I got older this faded and if I punished my siblings my parents would re-nig, meaning change their minds, after asking me to "talk to them". So here recently I decided that I was no longer going to care, the problem with this is that me saying "I don't care," and actually caring causes cognitive dissonance (stress) because my feelings and words didn't match. So we came to the conclusion that I would no longer say "I don't care," I would say, "It's not my responsibility" and I felt lighter after I repeated this.
Another thing she helped me realize is that I have a hard time analyzing some of my emotions, I can do most of them but with anger I just know something ain't sitting right and I don't like it. So, Dr. Jessica gave me this iceberg method.
The Iceberg Method is if anger is at the tip of the iceberg what is underneath it? Usually fear and sadness/hurt accompany this emotion (and another one that I forgot because I know I didn't feel that particular emotion). So, every time you feel anger acknowledge it and figure out what is under that emotion, or why is it there.
I get really upset with my little sister for MULTIPLE reasons, one main reason is because she can be really air headed and she's a follower of all her friends. In a nutshell, she scares me and I get worried that something may happen to her so underneath this situation is fear. Once I acknowledged these emotions things made more sense. So now, when I feel myself getting angry or upset I acknowledge what I feel to avoid an outburst.