here recently a mantra that has been super persistent in my meditation is: “i am free.”
the freedom comes in many forms: happiness, forgiveness, self-love and a plethora of other ways but these are my top 3. for me it feels good to feel it, but feels even better to know that i am free. i am free from my past, i am learning how to be more present, i have accepted my past, accepted the disconnect from my dad. i am learning how to love my self more unconditionally by loving the world and people around me, and i’m learning that to genuinely be free it starts within the heart. even better:
real freedom starts with forgiveness.
(thank you, Oprah and Pastor John Gray, for the insight.)
now, i have learned and am still learning to do the same. after bad breakups, i constantly blamed myself for everything. i also claimed the lifestyle of a girl with “daddy issues.” i felt like my dad didn’t love me and i loved guys for the wrong reason. i was looking for love in all the wrong places instead of looking for love within. then i looked deeper after these breakups and was like Nah it wasn’t me, it’s my dads' fault. then i addressed these “daddy issues” and called them out then worked on that. once i genuinely sat back and reflected i learned a lot about myself and started to love myself more. i learned that love was supposed to be reciprocated, i learned that i deserved to be loved for me without sex being involved and i learned that love shouldn’t hurt. if anything growing pains while in love can hurt and will but your heart shouldn’t be broken when in love at all. i grasped this and ran with it i then started to remove things that didn’t align with that.
and let me tell you when you start to love yourself for real instead of just saying it, oh the things you will take. you move differently when you are in a good and healthy relationship with yourself. and once i got to that point, it was like everything around me shifted, especially the guys i attracted. there was a genuine shift in my life, blog business relationship family etc.
now, it's like i say “i am free” as a simple reminder that i’m healing and i can feel it.